grateful

It's been a long week, but it was easier.  I'm very tired, and am glad tomorrow is Friday.  I can't believe it's Thanksgiving already.  Luka would have been almost three months old.  Hard to believe.  Sometimes I don't want to even imagine her with us, because she was not meant to be here.  But I do, and I miss her.  It's difficult to figure out if I miss her, or the healthy child I wanted.  Michael's making dinner.  It's nice to have him home and help me get through these first few weeks back at school.   I watched a leaf slowly fall from a tree this morning,  dancing in the morning light.  The drive down the mountain is so beautiful. I am so happy and blessed to be living where we live, with landlords who have become good friends, and who lend us their cats.  Toby has basically been living here for the last few weeks.  Seven shows up in between her mouse hunts, and occasionally allows us a cuddle.  I am grateful for so much in my life.  My loving husband, amazing friends all over the world, new blossoming friendships, a job I love, and a wonderful supportive family.  I'm grateful for the experience of carrying Luka for nine months, the love I have and still have for her, and the memories I will never forget.  The rain is coming.  I can feel the dampness setting in.  I welcome it.  Change is in the air.