opening of the hips

Went to yoga tonight. It felt great to focus and think about my body and my breath. We did lots of opening of the hips stretches.  I thought about the birthing process and how the exercises will prepare me for birthing next time round. It's amazing how the emotion can grab hold of you at the strangest times. Seeing the pregnant woman in the room, makes me long to be her.  The glow, the beauty of a round belly, and the feeling of a baby moving inside you. I miss that feeling. And then I'm in shivasana, in dim lights, listening to the chanting music, and I well up inside. The dimly lit room and the music reminds me of when we held Luka in the private room at the hospital. How difficult is was to hold her and watch her struggle. How beautiful it was to see her at peace when she finally left this world. Music will always haunt me. The music that we were to play for her birth was instead played in her final moments of life.  The yoga instructor rings her bells, and I am back in the room, back to life, to my stretched out and centred body.  It's getting easier to feel the emotion and then let it go. Not hold on to the pain.  After yoga, we went out for Indian food, and had some good laughs with new friends. Another blessing brought to us by Luka.  I've developed a new friendship with my doula, who has been instrumental in my healing. Without her, I would not be where I am today.  So, now it's time for my nightly ritual of having my bath, and going to bed. A new day tomorrow.  Namaste.